I had sent a small package rate item to buyer without tracking because it was less expensive. Buyer asked for refund after a week for item not recieved. I explained that mail from Canada to the US takes longer than that. She sent a message 2 days later to say that it had arrived. After 6 messages she has still not cancelled the refund request and I can find no way to contact eBay to say that the package has arrived.

eBay will automatically close the refund request after 21 business days of no activity if the buyer doesn't escalate which is sounds like they will not because they did get the order and are "happy". There is no point in contacting eBay because they will not do anything on your behalf because the buyer is the only one that can close the request prematurely. eBay might close it for you but only if you had tracking showing delivery. Since you don't have the tracking they just let it time...

Buyer asked for refund, package arrived the next day, no repose for removal | Selling

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Buyer asked for refund, package arrived the next day, no repose for removal | Selling | eBay Canada EN