Okay, forgive me but this one is both way out in left field and also quite serious and sobering.
What do you say (and how do you help or support) a friend who's just been given a terminal diagnosis?
This is happening to a close friends of ours. My friend was in remission from breast cancer (or so it seemed) until suddenly she wasn't. I'm not clear on exactly what or how this happened but it seems as if the lingering but serious and severe side effects of the chemotherapy and radiation treatment has caused her such acute medical problems that she is now dying from that as well as (or instead of) the cancer she started with.
They just found out, we just found out. The couple isn't ready for other people to know yet which is the reason I'm reaching out to those of you out there in virtual ebayland who might want to lend me some advice instead of friends and family. (We all know each other, if I were to ask this to my treasured aunts and uncles, they would quickly guess who I was speaking about. Those same folks do not read the ebay Discussion Boards of that I am certain.) Obviously, at this stage of my own life, I've lost people before (and people close to me) but it's either been parents or grandparents or uncles, or friends who were killed suddenly in some sort of accident. This is new to me.
And I don't want to make it worse. Already, I think I acted like a jerk since her husband essentially told me from the Emergency Room as they were happening and all I could think to do in my shock was argue with him about how this couldn't possibly be happening. That's me in denial, but it happened without my knowing how to stop it. I don't think this was particularly helpful to them.
I don't want to make things worse by saying or doing anything else that's stupid. Yet I have no idea what I should be doing. Obviously, I cannot make this better, but I hope here is some way to make it slightly less terrible. I want to be able to support her, as well as her husband, and also of course their three children who are as young as are mine.
Does anyone have advice for me? Based on what I can do or what I should NOT do?
I'm hoping that by reaching out to a diverse group of people who are in various stages of their own lives, there may be someone who can give me a sense of direction to take with this. It is advice I will much appreciate and take to heart. Send me a Private Message if you would prefer not to reply here.
Thank you most sincerely in advance,
Maureen
