A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says,
“Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.”
“What do you mean?” says the pirate. “I feel fine.”
Bartender: “What about the wooden leg? You didn’t have that before.”
Pirate: “Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I’m fine now.”
Bartender: “Well, okay, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?”
Pirate: “We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. Me hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I’m fine, really”
Bartender: “What about that eye patch?” Pirate: “Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them pooped in me eye.”
“You’re kidding,” says the bartender. “You lost an eye just from bird poop?:”
Pirate: “naw - It was me first day with the hook.”
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Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it again. Crazy enough to try