Welcome to a place where Christ should be exalted and "Self" should be abased!!
Welcome to a place where the BIBLE can be discussed rationally, intelligently, and positively without unnecessary argument!!
Welcome to a place where prayer can be requested and encouraged!!
Welcome to a place where positive and encouraging thoughts from scripture can be shared in a caring and loving way!!
Welcome to a place away from all the arguments, recriminations, and negativity of the outside world!!
Welcome to a place of rest and safety!!
Welcome to a place where Philippians 2:3 is practiced: "Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves."
Welcome to this Christian thread.
(Please leave all aggression, bitterness, and philosophy outside the door and please wipe your feet before coming inside!!)
I live in my own little world. But it's OK... They know me Here!
Welcome to a place where the BIBLE can be discussed rationally, intelligently, and positively without unnecessary argument!!
Welcome to a place where prayer can be requested and encouraged!!
Welcome to a place where positive and encouraging thoughts from scripture can be shared in a caring and loving way!!
Welcome to a place away from all the arguments, recriminations, and negativity of the outside world!!
Welcome to a place of rest and safety!!
Welcome to a place where Philippians 2:3 is practiced: "Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves."
Welcome to this Christian thread.
(Please leave all aggression, bitterness, and philosophy outside the door and please wipe your feet before coming inside!!)
I live in my own little world. But it's OK... They know me Here!
Slaves? Grow up, Deacon.
--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old...you grow old because you stop laughing. 🙂
--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old...you grow old because you stop laughing. 🙂
Hard to believe you can't take a sentence "In May 1998, Jeff Dickson posted the 'Paradox of Our Time"...put in google and find out where the links are.
Still playing games I see.
Same old, same old.
Still playing games I see.
Same old, same old.
Hard to believe you can't take a sentence "In May 1998, Jeff Dickson posted the 'Paradox of Our Time"...put in google and find out where the links are.
Still playing games I see.
Same old, same old.
Hard to believe you're still trying to pass off other people's writings as your own.
Same old, same old.
--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old...you grow old because you stop laughing. 🙂
Still playing games I see.
Same old, same old.
Hard to believe you're still trying to pass off other people's writings as your own.
Same old, same old.
--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old...you grow old because you stop laughing. 🙂
Hmmmm....not to split hairs but seems no one gave credit to the one who wrote about George Carlin in 1047....HAHAHAHAHAHA...i mean its just a word document, anyone could have put that up there!!!
Wonder who wrote that.....if it doesn't say is that plagarism too??????
*falls on the floor laffin*
May the light guide your way and the Shadows keep you safe
Wonder who wrote that.....if it doesn't say is that plagarism too??????
*falls on the floor laffin*
May the light guide your way and the Shadows keep you safe
We have to beat the other thread..we are 400 posts behind..LOL. so what all do u do here? just talk about christianity, and stuff?
Good morning, Shirley! :-x
God bless your day!
Scripture for strength under trying circumstances:
God has armed me with strength for battle; He has subdued under me those who rose against me. 2Sam 22.40
The Lord gives strength to those who turn the battle at the gate. Is 28.6
In quietness and confidence shall be my strength. Is 30.15
God has commanded me. I am strong and very courageous in Christ; I am not afraid, nor dismayed, for the LORD my God is with me wherever I go. Josh 1.9
It is God who arms me with strength, and makes my way perfect. Ps 18.32
The Lord will give strength to His people; the Lord will bless his people with peace. Ps 29.11
I am strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Eph 6.10
God gives power to the weak. And to those who have no might, He increases strength. Is 40.29
I shall renew my strength. I shall receive God's strength as I wait upon Him. I shall mount up with wings like eagles. I shall run and not be weary. I shall walk and not faint. All this shall happen to me because I wait on the LORD. Is 40.31
God is my refuge and strength... Ps 46.1
The Lord is my strength and my song... Ex 15.2 Ps 118.19 Is 12.2
I strengthen myself in the LORD my God. 1Sam 30.6
The joy of the Lord is my strength. Neh 8.10
I will love You, O Lord, my Strength. Ps 18.1
The LORD is my strength and my shield, and my saving refuge. Ps 28.7 28.8
The LORD will give strength to his people. Ps 29.11
God is my defense. Ps 59.9
The God of Israel is He who gives strength and power to His people. Ps 68.35
God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Ps 73.26
A wise man is strong. Yes, a man of knowledge increases strength. God gives abundant wisdom to me without finding fault. Pr 24.5
Psa 73:26 (NRSV) My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
1 Cor 1:25 (NRSV) For God's foolishness is wiser than human wisdom, and God's weakness is stronger than human strength.
2 Cor 12:9 (NRSV) but he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.
--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old...you grow old because you stop laughing. 🙂
God bless your day!
Scripture for strength under trying circumstances:
God has armed me with strength for battle; He has subdued under me those who rose against me. 2Sam 22.40
The Lord gives strength to those who turn the battle at the gate. Is 28.6
In quietness and confidence shall be my strength. Is 30.15
God has commanded me. I am strong and very courageous in Christ; I am not afraid, nor dismayed, for the LORD my God is with me wherever I go. Josh 1.9
It is God who arms me with strength, and makes my way perfect. Ps 18.32
The Lord will give strength to His people; the Lord will bless his people with peace. Ps 29.11
I am strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Eph 6.10
God gives power to the weak. And to those who have no might, He increases strength. Is 40.29
I shall renew my strength. I shall receive God's strength as I wait upon Him. I shall mount up with wings like eagles. I shall run and not be weary. I shall walk and not faint. All this shall happen to me because I wait on the LORD. Is 40.31
God is my refuge and strength... Ps 46.1
The Lord is my strength and my song... Ex 15.2 Ps 118.19 Is 12.2
I strengthen myself in the LORD my God. 1Sam 30.6
The joy of the Lord is my strength. Neh 8.10
I will love You, O Lord, my Strength. Ps 18.1
The LORD is my strength and my shield, and my saving refuge. Ps 28.7 28.8
The LORD will give strength to his people. Ps 29.11
God is my defense. Ps 59.9
The God of Israel is He who gives strength and power to His people. Ps 68.35
God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Ps 73.26
A wise man is strong. Yes, a man of knowledge increases strength. God gives abundant wisdom to me without finding fault. Pr 24.5
Psa 73:26 (NRSV) My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
1 Cor 1:25 (NRSV) For God's foolishness is wiser than human wisdom, and God's weakness is stronger than human strength.
2 Cor 12:9 (NRSV) but he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.
--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old...you grow old because you stop laughing. 🙂
I laughed so hard at these!....Thanks to Alison/apollosplace for e-forwarding it to me...
GRADING PAPERS
Can you imagine yourself to be the nun that is sitting at her desk, grading these papers, all the while trying to keep a straight face and maintain her composure?!
PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU'LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN:
1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.
2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS
3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.
4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.
5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.
6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.
7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.
8, THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.
10 THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.
11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA. THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.
12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.
13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.
14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.
15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.
16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.
17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.
18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.
19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.
20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.
21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.
22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.
23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.
24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.
25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.
--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old...you grow old because you stop laughing. 🙂
GRADING PAPERS
Can you imagine yourself to be the nun that is sitting at her desk, grading these papers, all the while trying to keep a straight face and maintain her composure?!
PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU'LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN:
1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.
2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS
3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.
4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.
5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.
6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.
7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.
8, THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.
10 THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.
11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA. THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.
12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.
13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.
14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.
15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.
16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.
17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.
18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.
19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.
20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.
21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.
22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.
23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.
24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.
25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.
--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old...you grow old because you stop laughing. 🙂
OK.......that had me wiping tears out of my eyes:^O
I'll save that forever.....Thanks MLM :-x
I'll save that forever.....Thanks MLM :-x
Weren't those hilarious, Shirl?! I love the one about Joshua and the battle of Geritol! :^O
--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old...you grow old because you stop laughing. 🙂
--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old...you grow old because you stop laughing. 🙂
Nikki...
OIY WFHIPO OLJDEGQ YOJHIF~~!
That's "Puddy-speak" for: HI TO NIKKI'S KITTY!
:^O
--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old...you grow old because you stop laughing. 🙂
OIY WFHIPO OLJDEGQ YOJHIF~~!
That's "Puddy-speak" for: HI TO NIKKI'S KITTY!
:^O
--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old...you grow old because you stop laughing. 🙂
