If Ebay was a relationship it would work like this.
You meet Ebay, Ebay invites you out for coffee. You go out for coffee, and you pay for the coffee, the pastry, the gas to get there, the insurance on the car you drove their. Ebay doesn't pay for anything, because well at this point you like Ebay, and Ebay feels it can get away with a bit.
After a few more coffee dates(paid for by you) Ebay suggests seeing more of each other. So now you are paying to take Ebay to the Movies and out for steak afterwards. Your dates with Ebay have to be kept to a certain amount of time, as Ebay is more interested in the Big Seller,Ebay has lined up for later in the evening.
Eventually Ebay says marry me and we'll go forth in life together as partners. You pay for Ebay's dress, you fly all Ebay's friends and relatives in, for a big ceremony. Everyone is happy for awhile.
Then Ebay says this isn't working for me. Lets pull the whole relationship apart and start over.(2005) I know we made agreements and you had plans says Ebay, but I have needs and you will have to adapt or go elsewhere.
So you take Ebay's list of demands and you repaint every room in the house. You shoot the dog and buy the iguana Ebay just had to have. You give Ebay a new car, you double what you give Ebay for spending money each week.
Ebay is happy now, except for wondering why you are not so much happy anymore. But you go on together. Now it is 2006. Ebay says, we can still be together, I still want your money, in fact give me more money, but I don't want you to show up anywhere. It's like you will still be here, supporting me, but you just won't show up when people look for you.
And of course you get a new list of demands. So you buy Ebay the new house, flush the iguana Ebay doesn't want anymore, and buy Ebay the ferret Ebay wanted so badly. You are now living on a street you hate, in a house you never wanted, with a greedy partner, who will only acknowledge your existence on payday.
Suddenly you find out where a lot of your cash has been going. Apparently Ebay has a new lover named Paypal. Paypal is a real sponge. Paypal really does nothing, but is always there when food comes out of the oven. Paypal makes you mad, but paypal is bigger than you, so you have to live with it. Eventually Paypal takes to curling up at night between you and Ebay. Eventually Ebay and paypal work together to control the whole relationship.
But you carry on. In 2007 Paypal and Ebay say they need more. One holds you, while the other shakes your wallet empty. They continue mugging you like this for a year. You are ready to call it quits. But where to go. You think maybe it can still work.
Then comes 2008 and Paypal announces that from now on Paypal will handle the cash thank you. Now you can go to paypal every three weeks and ask for an allowance. Then they get out the duct tape and cover your mouth, so you can't complain about anything.
When you squirm, they kick you out of the house for 7 days and then 30 days. You try to let people know what is happening, but Ebay and Paypal tell the neighbours it's just noise.
