Antique French Tickler? Reminded me of a joke.
So this guy gets a job at an adult novelty store. He spends the first morning learning about the layout of the store, the stock room etc. At lunch time, his manager tells him they will take turns going for lunch so the store will not go unattended.
"Just do your best. There's prices on everything", said the manager, and he steps out for a quick lunch.
Not two minutes later, a lady comes in looking for a dildo. The new guy shows her the ones behind the counter, explaining they have black ones and white ones in small, medium and large. She chooses a small one. She pays $25, thanks him and leaves. His first sale!
Next, a lady comes in, also looking for a dildo. She looks over the selection, chooses a big one, pays $50 and leaves. Another satisfied customer!
Just then a big strapping lady comes in, looking for, you guessed it. He shows her the selection. "No, no, no. I want something BIG", she says. He shows her the biggest one he's got and still she is not happy. Then he reaches down under the counter and pulls out this huge plaid one and her eyes light up! Almost breathless, she pays $250 and leaves.
When the manager returns, he asks his new employee how things went while he was gone.
"Amazing!", said the salesguy. "I sold a small dildo for $25, a large one for $50 and I got $250 for my thermos!".
Oh yeah. I write gift on everything. No Biggie.