"Maybe I am just being ungrateful, but I am finding it difficult to keep all this straight."
I think that's why it is set up that way. The more difficult it is, and the longer we have to wait, the less likely we are to get the fees back.
I only run 30-60 new auctions a week, and only a couple of those end up being non payers, but I still have trouble. And no, I'm not going to pay extra so that I can have their program sort out their mess. I'll keep doing it myself, despite the time it takes, and the fees I usually miss - on principle.
Another little gripe is that you can't relist the item until after all the reports have been filed. If you relist the item once the buyer definitely isn't going to pay, you don't get your listing fee back. You have to wait at least 7 days for the NPB alert, then at least another 10 days for the FVF, and then you can relist it. If it sells, you "may receive a full or partial listing fee credit". How delightfully ambiguous and vague. 😕