I need some advice: Ebay automatically escalated my "Item did not arrive" request without my consent

[astrocandies_hobby]

Some background information:
I bought an item that usually would take 2-3 weeks at most, but it still didn't arrive after a month (sent through letter mail likely) so I decided to use the "Item did not arrive" button for this item. That sent a "request for refund". The Request for Refund stated: "If the problem is not solved by x date, you can escalate the case." The seller responded promptly and we agreed to wait 1 more week for the item to arrive. I left the request open since we agreed through text in the request case itself and I thought that I would not be able to open the request once I close it. However, a few days later eBay escalated the case without me doing anything and closed it the same day!! The seller thought I escalated the request and is probably frustrated with me. In hindsight, I wish I just sent a message instead of using the eBay suggested feature, but it's done.

TLDR:
I did not want to escalate this request as it was from a small-time seller to buyer. Unfortunately, Ebay automatically escalated this request and refunded me. This likely put a bad record on the seller I interacted with and this was the last thing I wanted! I will be trying to contact live chat when they open at 5am PT, but is there anything else I can do to reverse this?? Or does anyone have advice? I'm kind of freaking out lol.

[astrocandies_hobby]

Never mind, I got in touch with live chat. I guess I can't really do anything. They just told me that the seller can request a defect removal... 

[itolduandso]

The case resolution and the MP is a total s$$$show.  tyler@ebay 

This is an example why this is totally broken and how even honest buyers now have to work to resolve things that go wrong. Why is it ebay makes things so hard when it should be the other way around.

[reallynicestamps]

Let your seller know that and that you will cooperate to have the Defect removed.

Has the item arrived?

You can use Paypal's Send Money service to repay the refund if it has. This has nothing to do with eBay, just you and the seller.

[itolduandso]

Unfortunately once the plug is pulled on Paypal, the seller will pay the Adyen processing fee because the processing fee is NOT part of the refund and Adyen keeps that.

[pjcdn2005]

The .30 fee isn't refunded with MP and it wasn't refunded with PayPal either. In fact PP keeps  all fees even if a buyer has been refunded.

[pjcdn2005]

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@itolduandso wrote:

The case resolution and the MP is a total s$$$show.  tyler@ebay 

This is an example why this is totally broken and how even honest buyers now have to work to resolve things that go wrong. Why is it ebay makes things so hard when it should be the other way around.

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There is no point in calling Tyler as eBay announced last year that if there was no tracking to show the item had been shipped, they would refund the buyer after the 2 or 3 days waiting period. Unfortunately they do make it sound as if the buyer escalated even though the buyer had nothing to do with it, 

[chengda85]

wait item not received puts a bad record on the seller? I have a buyer making a item not received claim on me right now

[pjcdn2005]

If you can't prove delivery and you don't refund before the buyer asks eBay to step in then you do get an unresolved claim defect.