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Hello 'lyndarmp',
I understand what you are saying, and 'feedback' is a frequent topic on the boards.
Mind you, I think 'begging' is a bit unfair, maybe even inaccurate.
<<I have seen many sellers stating that they will give me (the buyer) a positive feedback,
if I have given them one first>>
Feedback is very important to a seller, - receiving it, - and positive, obviously. Apart from all
the usual flurry about DSR and seller status and how 'low marks' can cause difficulties,
feedback lets other buyers know about a seller. Lots of positive feedback shouts out to
others "here's a good seller". And if they don't get sufficient good marks, they could indeed
have their selling accounts restricted.
So they're not really 'begging' so much as stating their personal feedback policy.
The ebay policy on feedback is that it is optional (leaving and receiving), for both buyers
and sellers. However a seller chooses to do it, that's okay with ebay. You've probably seen
this 'all about feedback' link, with all the assorted related links on the right:
http://pages.ebay.ca/help/feedback/allaboutfeedback.html
<< If I buy an item and pay for it instantly, why wouldn't the seller give me a positive feedback?>>
Because that's not how she does it. The choice is hers.
Some sellers have it set up to leave automatic feedback right after you pay. Some leave it after
they mark it as shipped, and some wait until they actually have it in the mail. Others wait until
they receive it so as to know that the transaction is completely concluded and there is nothing
more for them to do. This may be done manually by the individual, or set up automatically so that
when you leave it, you automatically get it within a minute or two. Others do it in batches, every few
days, or even once a month or so.
And of course there are those who, if you do not leave them their positive in good time, with a full
set of 5 stars (they can easily figure this out), then you aren't getting any at all. 
<<I don't need to feel that I am being blackmailed by the seller in order to receive something that I deserve,>>
You're not being 'blackmailed', not really. Sellers often feel that way because poor feedback can
affect their ability to sell. Poor outgoing feedback can affect your ability to bid, because sellers can
remove bids on their items if they feel they need to.
Sellers may therefore feel they are being held hostage by the feedback system because too often
buyers will leave bad feedback just because they're having a bad day.
So if you want positive feedback, the best way to get it is to leave it. That is, if the seller hasn't left it
once it's in the mail. I find that most do it that way, but even if they don't bother at all, it's their choice.
Feedback is not as important for buyers because even a horrible buyer can click 'buy' and it's a
done deal. You need it for bidding and negotiating though.
Some sellers will tell you that a buyer doesn't need it at all, but that's just not true.
Because of the feedback I have - incoming and outgoing - I am able to get sellers to ship items with
less expensive services, such as getting rid of that £5.50 'signed for' charge, as well as having
sellers ship something 'Surface' mail which is very risky for the seller.
If you get your positive feedback right after you pay, all you can expect is "fast payment, thanks".
That's nice, but I have many personal comments of kindness from sellers, -- and they mean it,
because we've had such a very pleasant exchange.
<<This is very annoying and I find that it "cheapens" the image of the seller>>
Cheapens? I've never thought so. That whole 'giving -receiving' thing will also be influenced by
how people were brought up, their perception of themselves in relation to others, as well as their view
of the 'business' aspect of their ebay sales.
You can easily discern how a seller leaves feedback by comparing the number of incoming vs. outgoing.
If the seller leaves it first, there will be a much higher number of "left for others" than that which is received.
A lot of buyers buy but don't leave it at all, so sellers who leave it first will invariably have a higher
number of 'outgoing' feedback.
Although personally I don't think it should matter either way.
So, . . . if you want positive feedback and haven't yet received it, be sure to leave some.
Happy shopping 
I agree... I have had to wait sometimes 30 days + for most of my orders from China. They promise the items have been sent. But I got hit hard by two of them. All excuses, The festival delay (which I understood and gave them extra ample time), then backlog of parcels, oh and invalid tracking numbers that they finally confessed to after two weeks, they reship with a valid tracking number, then defective product arrives, which would tear your hair out. ( I attached a picture of one of the curlformers) The other order had a sticky filmy substance on all the curlformers. It was gross!! The seller asked that I wash them. I did, and messaged back that you would have to use a degreaser to get off whatever it is.... And who would put that in their hair after using that. Degreaser didn't work nor did it ever fully rinse out of that weaved material. Degrease and put on my childs scalp!!!!!!!!!!!! Not a chance...... Seller claimed it was a mechanical malfunction.
They promised to reship providing I leave positive feedback. Never again.. Boy did I get burnt, and there is nothing I can do. One shipped the same defective product, I sent pictures etc. Everything they needed. What a waste of my time.
They apologized, but I had a feeling they would never arrive. The other parcel was shipped, I was given a tracking # and here the parcel was accepted by someone all the way over in Quebec, and I am on the other side of Canada.. They claim the post office made a mistake.. It's the seller that labels the parcels, and sends you the tracking info. I have the recipient's name in a town in Quebec and did a 411 on that name, Canada Post gave me the delivery certificate. I am going to make a few calls to see maybe they got my order by mistake. The seller will not respond, my money is gone and I will never see the products.
Funny thing is I believe both orders came from the same seller, but just a different user name. Same packaging and writing of what was claimed and the value declared.
Anyone have any suggestions? Can I post their names,, you can see I left positive feedback, but in the comment
area I mention defective product, seller reshipping. I will never trust another ever again!!!!!!!!!! Sooo very upset!!!
Please look at my reviews that I have left for the purchases involved, you'll see that I left feedback with a reship promise. Note the sellers usernames and DO NOT buy from them, don't waste your time or money, be extremely careful, do not fall into the same trap I did. I have made many purchases over the years, but I can honestly say that things in the past 5 - 6 months are just not going smooth like they used to from that area.
Be careful!!
fire-.-ice
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