First you have to take responsibility for your own actions.
Unless you can afford to pay, do not bid.
On the first auction, were you bidding or did you win?
If you won, the seller may have sent you a Mutual Cancellation request. If you agree to this, the transaction ends with no fallout for either of you.
If the seller instead opened an Unpaid Item Dispute, and you did not pay, you would get a Strike against your account. Most sellers have an automatic Block against bidders who do not pay and have such Strikes.
There is other fallout for non-payers, this may be what has happened to you.