I need advice on dealing with a bigoted buyer!!

[westernstargifts]

A buyer won an item on Apr. 22. I sent payment info 3 times with a polite note and received no response. Tonight I sent a message asking him to contact me with payment information by May 3 to avoid an Unpaid Item Strike. This was his reply:

sent money order out 3 or 4 days ago you should be getting it. and if you dont speak english cancel my order......

I find this very bigoted and offensive to every Canadian whether they speak English or French. I would rather lose a sale than deal with someone like this who is obviously trying to manipulate me. His message came through My Messages. Should I report it or what should I do? How do I cancel an order after he has won? I couldn't find anything on this specific type of thing in the Help pages. This guys spells trouble and negative feedback but more than that I do not want to let him get away with bigoted remarks like that. I would appreciate any help or suggestions on how to handle this. Thanks.

Judy

[katiusciav]

what i don't understand is why he would think you DON'T speak english, not that that's the crutch of your argument. but anyways, that would bother me too, buyers that you have to 'chase' down for even just a reply really bug me. if it were me, i would just wait for the money order, and if not received in an appropriate amount of time (depending on where its coming from), then i would cancel his bid. once receiving the money order, i would just quietly send his item out and get the transaction out of the way, and out of your thoughts...

[sunshine2426]

I would speak my mind... but that's me. I don't let clients bully me around.

[westernstargifts]

To me his remark is the equivalent of saying cancel my order if you aren't white. I can't tolerate racism. He did finally mark it as payment sent this morning, 10 days after the auction ended. One seller said in feedback left for him that he was told 3 times that M.O. had been sent. He finally received the payment.
Does eBay tolerate racism?

[jakeeangel]

That's not racism. That's not a bigotted remark. I think he's calling you stupid. Sort of like I already told you I sent it once, don't you understand or don't you speak English? It's not nice no, but eBay's not going to do anything about it. Nada.

I personally wouldn't address that aspect with them. It'll only lead to further arguments. I would only deal with the transactional aspect and ignore the stupid/ignorant comment. I would explain that payments coming from the US can take 1 - 2 weeks to arrive and you'll let him know when it does arrive. I also wouldn't have said email by this date or I'll do this.

I would have just asked for them to tell you when payment was mailed and on my own, if I didn't get it by X then file the UPI. I don't warn them I'm going to, I just do it. For someone who may not speak English well or read your intent, the words alone can come across like a threat. Which then sets things off on the wrong foot.

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[westernstargifts]

I had sent him 3 previous nice polite messages and had received no response whatsoever. Also he had never gone through checkout to indicate payment method. I had heard nothing from him at all.
I think you are right jakeeangel that I should not have said that I would file a UID. Usually I do ask first for them to confirm the date payment was mailed. But I could not get him to respond at all until now.
I will ignore the stupid comment he made. Obviously he has an "attitude". He is probably looking for a reaction and usually the best way to deal with someone like that is to ignore them. But I still think it was a bigoted remark.
Thank you everyone for your advice. Judy

[zarzuella]

the best way to deal with someone like that is to ignore them

Exactly. take his money and move on.

Ann

[bestshowtime]

That's not racism. That's not a bigotted remark. I think he's calling you stupid. Sort of like I already told you I sent it once, don't you understand or don't you speak English? It's not nice no, but eBay's not going to do anything about it. Nada. IT is just perfect answer on your question!!!!

[westernstargifts]

The fact remains that he had not communicated with me AT ALL. Nothing! Zippo! So what exactly was there to understand? He had made no communication whatsoever to indicate method of payment. So why would he be saying that I was stupid or that I did not understand English? Unfortunately, there are many Americans who think all or most Canadians speak French. That is what I think he was referring to when he made that remark. He was saying if you speak French cancel my order. And I still find that offensive. Maybe I have taken it the wrong way. I am willing to give him the benefit of the doubt but will not kiss his behind to avoid negative feedback.
That said, I feel better! I am looking forward to getting his order behind me. Hopefully he will leave feedback after which I will block him from buying again.

[katiusciav]

judy-i understand why you're angry. its not like he had already told you, so he answers like that, he hadn't even replied at all, and if that was his FIRST reply...he's a loser. end of story. the world's full of em...kiss his package (and his memory) good bye...

[westernstargifts]

I am not really angry anymore although I know it sounded like it. Consider him forgotten--but not kissed! lol
I have dealt with difficult people before and I will get over it. Thanks Kat.
Judy

[westernstargifts]

Received money order today. He mailed it 6 days after the auction closed but did not go through checkout or respond to emails to let me know. He did go through checkout after he sent me that message. End of story! (I hope).

[jakeeangel]

I'm glad you got it. 🙂 Customers don't have to go through checkout. Don't expect that they will. They should email you to let you know how they're going to pay but don't expect everyone to use checkout. The same way I say buyers shouldn't expect all sellers communications to be through the the eBay system. People do things differently.

Some buyers just send payment without letter sellers know and some sellers just send items without letting buyers know. meh I'm sure it'll work out fine in the end. :)

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[art-in-the-making]

Good that it worked out. Another explanation for this comment could be the blurb that pops up from eBay along the lines of "this user is registered on a different eBay site and therefore may not speak your language". I have never felt this to be productive for relationship building between Can and US buyers and sellers!