A slight misunderstanding

[puckstopshere]

My trip to the Canadian Tire Store!...

There was a bit of confusion at Canadian Tire this morning.

When I was ready to pay for my purchases of gun powder and bullets the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."

Making a mental note to complain to Harper about the gun registry people running amok, I did just as she had instructed.

When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to my credit card.

I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.

They need to make their instructions to us seniors a little clearer!

[rosscd57]

Good one.

[vintagenorth]

Next time, pay with your Cdn Tire funny money! :^O

[prior-of-verity*shake-hands-with-your-devil]

Yep that was a good one.

A few of my own...

A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheelchair.

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not Happy.

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that, 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.

Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador."Don’t do that"!!! says Mick "have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"

When I was in the pub I heard a couple of fellows saying that they wouldn't feel safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman.
What a pair of sexists. I mean, it's not as if she'd have to reverse the thing!

[nan*55]

My neighbour was working in his yard when he was startled by a late model car that came crashing through his hedge and ended up in his front lawn.
He rushed to help an elderly lady driver out of the car and sat her down on a lawn chair.
He said with excitement, "you appear quite elderly to be driving."
"Well, yes, I am," she replied proudly. "I'll be 97 next month, and I am now old enough that I don't even need a driver's license anymore.
"The last time I went to my doctor, he examined me and asked if I had a driver's license. I told him yes and handed it to him. He took scissors out of the drawer, cut the license into pieces, and threw them in the waste basket, saying,
'You won't need this anymore,' so I thanked him and left!"

[snikrep2010]

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."   She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.  

My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much.   I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.

Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.  

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.  

She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again. I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.  

Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most.   I told her, "Colonel Sanders." Guess where I am now...