CAN BUYERS THREATEN NEGATIVE FEEDBACK IF I DON'T SEND $10 ???

[jerseysfromcanada]

Hi there,
well i was hoping someone could help me or just say something nice.
Tonight, this guy takes the title...WORST EBAYER EVER
This guy is a YOUTH PASTOR. Now he bought a jersey & i sent it to the address provided "Seller should ship to...", like so many before him. To this day his address says he lives in Ontario and that's where i sent it to! Now he writes that this is his old address "he doesn't know how I got a hold of that address" ....He writes, luckily his parents still live there & now they need to send it to him which will cost around $ 10. I need to pay this $ 10 or he will leave negative feedback. How can I be bribed into paying $ 10 just so he doesn't leave bad feedback ? Is this fair & an accurate feedback system ? I loss powerseller status ( or tarnished reputation) for his mistake? I have this guy's email & have reported it because i just don't think people like that have a right to hurt other people and on top insult & threaten me. You should read his ignorant comments. Not very pastor-like. Imagine this behavior with the youth he directs? Anyway, this ruined my evening, thinking i have a negative looming over me, for i feel is his fault; insults & threats ? Do i deserve this kind on treatment ? And I'm the bad guy ? But sold one item today for a whooping $17.

I have been nothing but XXXX on throughout my short Ebay career, and have lost faith in humanity, to all those who have ripped me off because i can't afford to have tracking for every single item because fees are too high because prices have to be higher and no buyers, bad business; everyone who claims non receipt gets his money back! Sounds like a lottery win to me!. Great Marketplace to evaluate the value of stuff though,which doesn't help me.and on & on..every day a new problem!
by the way, my fridge is empty, bills overdue, and i spent my last $40 sending mail today!

So mark my words, the evil in people will pervail watch...I predict a negative soon! The trans.i.d. is 160195681000...Can someone give me a suggestion? What would you do? He says customer is always king and I'm rude for suggestioning the obvious he says; I'm indignant, whatever that means. I said he needs to update his address & his parents could send it for $2.88 as an oversized letter! Sounds insulting to you? Would someone like to bet with me that the pastor isn't a forgiving & caring person who teaches youth? Watch his feedback coming soon! I wrote him back that the address on Ebay is still in Ontario and i apologize for the trouble. I said if he needs $ 10 it's no problem. But come to think of it, i'm a stubborn, stupid German, and I'd rather burn the bill before being bribed! Help me please ! What am I doing wrong to be attracting these people? I could cry, financially, emotionally, and just life in general has really gotten me down. I take it to heart, thinking what this world is really like! I close my door and stay alone!

[nxtdriver]

All this crying over a neg fb and an unreasonable buyer. Tell him to take hike, take the neg fb and MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. If the guy buys a Leafs jersey, obviously there isn't anything anyone can do to help this guy!! Sens rule!!

[westernstargifts]

If the guy buys a Leafs jersey, obviously there isn't anything anyone can do to help this guy!!

:^O:-D:-):^O

[katiusciav]

you know, its funny, i keep thinking about that research over people expecting more the lower priced the items, and i can't seem to understand it...

...the only thing i could come up with is that the people buying the cheap stuff are the real thrifty ones who are always out to get a great deal and are picky over everything, and because they 'value' their money so much, they expect so much for it...as little as it may be...obviously, these '.98' cent items are priced .98 cents for a reason, you do need to expect to get what you pay for, maybe if these purchasers actually spend a bit more money, they may find less to complain about?

...just trying to actually get SOME use out of my psychology degree :^O

[westernstargifts]

I think you have great insight Kat. I have a relative who is retired and fairly well off but "values her money" so much that it is downright embarrassing at times to be shopping with her. She asks when things will go on sale and finds things wrong with the item. If she goes to a restaurant she might mention that her "portion" is not as big as the last time she was there. She and her husband think it is funny and that she is being thrifty but the rest of the family concur that she is actually just cheap..cheap..cheap..!!....lol...But I love her anyway.

I think she must have clones out there in eBay land just waiting to pick apart a deal and make it a better one...for them.

Judy

[katiusciav]

the more i think of it, the more i'm convinced that that is it...
...self made millionnaires (and self maintained millionnaires mind you) work very hard for their money, they usually DO tend to be very thrifty and expect lots for their itty bitty purchase...people don't realize, but in many cases, the 'shabby' looking house down the street with the ten year old car are actually millionnaires, and many times, the people in lavish homes can barely keep up their payments...
...it is precisely the reason why these people are millionaires...because they just don't spend their money..simple as that!

..and i know what you mean about your aunt..i know a friend of the family who is exactly the same...also self made millionnaires, (am i spelling that right? it looks wrong..)..anyways, as cheap as they come! i mean they bargain with merchants right down to the penny, you'd think they were broke! of course, there is a small part of me that envies this type of thrifty personality (not the unattractive embarassing side mind you), but sometimes i wish we could be better with our money...we're not bad mind you, but i know we can probably be much better and lead very 'basic' lives...

[coxengines]

Can't take it to the grave with you and better to spend it while you are still on this planet. Otherwise, why work so hard to achieve so much?

If I can leave this world owing 100 mill to the banks... OK, a nasty dream but an enticing one LOL!

Xena

[westernstargifts]

Kat, you must be psychic...How did you know it was my aunt? I actually avoided mentioning it, but that is who it is!

Never mind about "basic" lives...That can be dull (especially if you love art!!) There has to be a balance there. We have friends who are in their 70's and don't have much because they traveled all over the place with their kids when they were young. They have no regrets...they did it while they could. They made ceramics and sold them at craft shows to supplement their income after they retired. It was a social thing as well...that is where we met them a few years ago.

Judy

[wesycool]

Hi,

If you actually pay him the $10, you can report an unpaid item under unconfirmed address, since you partially refund it and he provides a wrong address. If he doesn't reply to the unpaid item, you can close the item and give him a strike and even if he gives you a negative feedback, the feedback will be cancelled out. This is a trick I always do to USA buyers who has unconfirmed address and ask a refund for not receiving the item by threaten me with negative feedback. It's not the best way to do business but at least it saves your reputation.

[coxengines]

Or, that way, you can really aggravate the buyer into giving you a neg (plus responding to the allegation).

The guy paid you, so IMO it would be unethical to file a non-payment dispute.

Let it go....

If you get a neg it would be because you kept on harping on this, calling the guy and otherwise ranting and raving about a quite mundane issue.

If a buyer really does not pay and does not reply to a dispute then, yes, the FB thing does work.

Xena

[wesycool]

It's not really unethical to file a non-payment dispute since you really didn't receive the payment if you gave the payment back to the guy. Also, you can't really open a returned item or uncompleted transaction dispute since the item will not be returned. Thus, you are legally allow to open an unpaid item dispute.

As for the feedback, even if the guy reply to the dispute and give you the negative feedback, at least you get ur final credit back and gave him a strike.

This is one option you can do, however I will use this as my last resource within the 45 days limit.

First, try to convience the guy to be reasonable since it is not your fault for sending an item to an address that he gave you. If he argues anything unreasonable, counter-argue every sentence that he mentioned. This way he will feel pressured because you have reasons. At this point, most buyers will ask you for suggestions. Tell him that he can always go to his parents to get it or ask his parents to bring it to him instead of mailing it. If he insists on getting the $10, tell him that as long he provides the receipt, you will give him only half of the money he used to ship the item since you were not responsible for shipping to an address he provided. If this doesn't work, just use the dispute technique.

[coxengines]

If he argues anything unreasonable, counter-argue every sentence that he mentioned. This way he will feel pressured

Way to go! - NOT!!!

Pressure creates more pressure.
Agression creates more agression
Wars create more wars

Same thing goes for business because real people engage in business, not machines.

Without judging the merit of who is at fault, I still maintain that, if a customer has paid, one should not claim non-payment. The $10 refund (which the seller sent on his own volition) only represents a portion of the proceeds.

Xena

[katiusciav]

everything being said, there still should be something said here about the buyer. why doesn't any accountability fall on the buyer? isn't it, after all, the buyer's responsibility to ensure his paypal shipping address is correct on file before he starts bidding?? when the seller brings this to his attention, he should have looked into it and realized that it was his shortcoming not having the correct address on file. the whole idea that the seller has to automatically take the fault and dish out the bucks by default, just for sake of good customer service sometimes rubs me the wrong way. i guess when we're on the side of buyers, we should be just as demanding and unreasonable? while i understand its important to deliver good customer service, i also think its important for buyers to own up to their part in the problem, and if sometimes, we want to bite the bullet and pay out the ten bucks and move on, that's fine too, but there will be that one time that will aggravate us one too many times.
buyers and sellers come from two completely different worlds with different challenges and obstacles, but i still maintain that in the world of ebay, its much more challenging being a seller and getting the short end of the stick. we're the ones performing and being judged and threatened bad judgement if we don't 'pay for the buyer's actions'.

...sometimes, it just irritates me that's all...

[katiusciav]

um xena, i'm going to take a shot in the dark here and say you haven't been burnt too often. by the sounds of all your posts, you seem to operate out of a textbook. sure, we'd all love to operate that way, but i guarantee one day, your 'human side' will kick in and you'll find yourself complaining just like most other sellers. like i said, its easy to do the right thing, but only for so often.
...sorry, don't mean to be so direct..its the italian in me 🙂

[coxengines]

Kat,

Absolutely the buyer has equal responsibilities. However, we as sellers, are the smarter ones and move on.

In this whole story I got the impression that not everything was as presented.

A concrete answer as to whether the buyer really threatened negative feedback if he did not receive $10 was skirted. It would have been the seller’s biggest trump card to get any negative feedback removed or the buyer suspended. Feedback extortion is a big no-no but, of course one can only act on it if it really happened.

I also got the impression that the seller did not ship to the paypal address but the one registered on ebay. The seller fleeting alluded to "Oh and that address was different, but i didn't realize it was different than his Ebay address”.

Then this: “I pack stuff at 4:30 AM, before either school or work, and it's a bit too early for my brain to somehow anticipate buyers mistakes (ESP)” Then this: “This has happened a couple of times in the past”

The seller has religious slogans on his listings and now (allegedly) a youth pastor crosses him (whether justified or not). See what I’m getting at? I had a funny feeling on this one. Lots of emotions over, really, a petty issue.

[coxengines]

Heh-heh, Kat, and the German in me... emotional vs. stubborn... should be good for some sparks... LOL!

Actually, I have been in marketing and sales for 30 years, self-employed since age 19, do not operate out of any textbook (except the one I wrote for myself) and, no, I have rarely been burnt in business, despite selling anything in value from a few bucks to 6-digits.

I am a big believer of “the law of attraction” and have done business that way for many years. For fear of digressing I won’t expand on this here, but when I enter my office (or start my day), I deem every customer to be phenomenal.

The little hiccups in business I see as incidental to success. I continually focus on what I have (the good business) and not what I don’t have or what is not going my way (the not so good business).

When I began this attitude adjustment over a decade ago, it was difficult at times, as it flew in the face of advice given by many of my business friends ,but after some time the results kicked in.

Do I get my share of boors, non-payers, complainers, etc? Sure I do! The difference being that they can only have these “qualities” if I let them (i.e. if I believe that is how they are).

eBay is but a part-time business for me. I have an absolute blast selling on ebay and the money is good. Actually, this account was only created on a bet with a business associate who did not believe that out of “impossible” could be created “possible”

Anyhow, enough philosophy and back to work LOL!

Xena

[katiusciav]

well we all deal with things differently.

[wesycool]

If you think my suggestion will make it worst, what will you suggest? I haven't seen any suggestions that actually help our friend here. All the post I read only suggest to reply and to apologize in a professional manner. Those are important, however customer always think that they are right. I suggest to pressure the buyer, not in a mean way but in a professional way, so that he will understand that he is responsible for not providing correct information. When he realize this, you can calm him down by suggesting him what to do. Pressure doesn't always create more pressure as long you, the seller, remains calm at all time. In additon, one mistake that most sellers do is to apologize. When you apologize, you immediately assume that you are responsible for the mistake. Instead, you should only apologize when the problem is solved.

As for the dispute technique, if you are talking to an unreasonable person and the problem is still not resolved, why should you be reasonable? People are selfish creatures and only think what benefits them. This is my point of view and you don't have to take this, however this can minimize your risk.

[coxengines]

Monsieur "cool",

As Kat so pointedly points out:

"well we all deal with things differently."

And, she is is absolutely right. I choose to deal with my customers in this fashion:

1) The customer is always right.

2) 100% do I take responsibility, even if the indicators are that it's not my fault. I LOVE taking responsibility! Actually, I get a real perverse kick out of it!

3) A customer is non-replaceable.

4) Negative sentiments are 10x more likely to have an impact than positive ones.

5) If I still feel that the customer is wrong, I start afresh at #1.

You know, it's sort of the.. um... er... double-bagger principle that made the rounds in salesmanship schooling.

Once you realize that checking your ego at the door (before logging into eBay) and concentrating on making customers perceptions of you into a "WOW", success will follow and you will be spending the fruits of your labour on fun things in life, whereas your colleagues (a.k.a. competition) fume over how unfair life can be.

And, if you believe that I am meek, demure, or otherwise submissive, think again! I just realize that I can either battle to feed my ego or just rake in people's payments and... have lots of fun]:) ]:) ]:)

The Warrior Princess

[coxengines]

why should you be reasonable? People are selfish creatures and only think what benefits them.

Precisely!

Is there a mirror handy LOL?

.. don't be offended... I'm not the b...h you think:-x

[whoscloset]

Oh dear. I do believe we have another Monique on our hands. Whatever will tea and his minions do with another reasonable voice in the wind. 😉