I'm guessing you filed an item not received dispute. When a seller cannot prove an item was delivered, you get a refund. If you do not want a refund, you should be contacting the seller but after filing a dispute, I doubt they will cooperate. I'm also guessing that if it was an auction, the winning price wasn't as high as they wished so they are refusing to sell. Take your refund and find a better seller. Leave appropriate feedback once you get your refund.
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Non payers should get unpaid item strikes and be added to block bidders lists. Period.
