Hi redswebiz,
First, Pierre is right. I believe you should adjust your settings to automatically leave great feedback as soon as the buyer pays you. You have no choice to leave negative later any more anyway, so putting up great feedback for them up front will remove any tension or worry for the buyer for his purchase right up front. Plus they love getting this great feedback added to their account, where other eBay members always see. (check out my feedback that I leave- only one, the same for everyone, as acknowledgement that they have done their part in the transaction for prompt payment).
Next, always send the buyer a thank you email after shipping, detailing when it was sent, where from, tracking number, expected shipping time frame (always go longer on that- if CP says 4-8 days, say 7-14 business days, for example), invite them to shop at your website, etc etc...but most importantly, remind them that you have already left them great feedback, and you would appreciate the same in kind when their item is recieved. And say that if they have any issues with their item, to contact you right away, before leaving feedback, so that you can have the chance to make things right. Also, include a similar note with their package along with a business card, etc.
The niche I am in unfortunately attracts a bit more potential for negs- younger or newby buyers, larger items = higher shipping costs, along with many fragile instruments that have more potential to have problems. I have had several negs in the past 6 months or so, all of which I have been able to get removed by the buyer simply by contacting them. Each case is different, but I would never say "remove the neg and I will give you money".
Rather, I speak to them from the stand point that we pride ourselves on the very best customer service on eBay, and always will go out of our way where possible to ensure the customer is satisfied with their purchase. I remind them that negs are very damaging to a seller's reputation, and we would really like to have a chance to make things right for them, and that a neg feedback solves absolutely nothing.
Sometimes, as in this case, the buyer may have tried to contact you, and gets frustrated quickly if they cant get a hold of you immediately, so the neg gets launched. (a toll free number has been a real asset to us, and a good "about me" page doesn't hurt either).
I refunded this buyer 100 dollars to go towards the part he claimed was defective (although I checked it over carefully myself before shipping), and to cover the labor at his music store, which he supplied proof of work being done. The 100 buck refund unfortunately I can't get back right away- our distributor would have gladly accepted a return and refunded the money for this, but as he failed to contact us first with his issue and took it somewhere else, he voided the lifetime warranty.
So after emailing him, he admitted that he should have been more patient and/or at least left a message on the 1-877 number line or at least sent us an email detailing his problem. In fact he felt so bad, he is using his 100 bucks to buy more product from our store. So in reality, the 100 bucks is nothing, and we will get it back in spades anyway.
Every neg removal case is different, but if you treat the buyer the way you would like to be treated, and give them great confidence that you really do care and will look after them, then your chances of neg removal will go up dramatically. Keep in mind that you only have a certain number of removals allowed in a year (I think I get 5 or 6). And always do your homework on the buyer- has he left negs before? If so how many? You can also contact other sellers to see what happened in their case when he gave them a neg. But if you feel that your neg was unique and you may have a chance for removal, go for it.
Hope this helps, and I should really acknowlege Bernie for many of his words of wisdom in the past to me that have helped develop some of these business practises that I use today.
AXE