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Hello -- 'westernstar' has summed up the problem fairly well. It has nothing to do with shipping/handling gouging, but everything to do with the inability of the U.S. (.com) to fully integrate with the .ca (and some other) carts.
This has been going on for at least a couple of years. I've been consistently and regularly banging my head against a brick wall with eBay over what I call the "cart disconnect" in the hope that eBay.com might someday do something about it. I've concluded it's hopeless. We Canadians who sell a lot to the U.S. are left with few options, none of which is really completely satisfactory. These are:
1) Stipulate "Immediate Payment Required" on all your items listed on .ca. This will defeat a U.S./.com buyer's ability to use the cart or combine orders at all, and they'll be forced to use the one-at-a-time "choose and pay" method of checking out. You can then refund the excess shipping, although of course you will have paid FVFs on all the shipping charges (which you may or may not get reimbursed for if you contact eBay).
2) List on .com ('pj' is correct that there is no problem producing a Paypal shipping label if you list on .com, although you will not be able to display the specific Canada Post service types in your listings, and you must remember that "domestic" shipping on .com means shipping to the U.S.).
Listing on .com is the "workaround" I've chosen to use for the items that I traditionally have sold as multi-item orders. But then my buyer base is over 95% in the U.S., so I felt compelled to find some solution, even if it's less than completely satisfactory for other reasons. By the way, I should mention that the eBay Canada cart can "communicate" with .com listings, so Canadian buyers using eBay.ca to purchase should not have a problem with combining items listed on .com.
3) Ask buyers to log onto .ca: This is fine if a buyer contacts you and if that buyer is willing to go to the trouble. Most won't.
4) Do nothing (especially if you don't have a lot of U.S./.com buyers or multi-item orders), and simply refund the excess shipping to your buyers, then try getting your FVFs on shipping back from eBay (I hate to say it, but good luck on that 
)
Ultimately, I think the choice of using one or more of these "workarounds" will depend on the proportionate volume of your Canadian vs. U.S. (or .com) sales, and the number of multi-item orders you usually get. Keep in mind that many Canadian buyers shop on .com, which compounds the issue.
In my own situation there was little choice. I felt I had to do what would best serve my U.S. customers. So many were finding it impossible to make a multi-item/combined order. In fact, I concluded that the ones who were contacting me probably represented a small percentage of the buyers who had tried, and failed, to combine an order, and just found another (U.S.) seller where things worked properly.
EBay Canada has given mixed messages over the past year or so about their perception of the seriousness and extent of this problem affecting Canadian sellers. As 'westernstar' mentioned, at first they basically dismissed the issue as practically irrelevant because they claimed it affected a very small minority of Canadian sellers. Later, they did acknowledge the importance of the problem, but I think they still maintained it affected relatively few Canadian sellers.
At no time since this issue was first brought up by sellers (which I believe was in late 2013/early 2014) did eBay.ca ever indicate that they'd been able (or even willing) to convince eBay HQ to do anything about it. I suspect it could be solved, but that eBay U.S. sees it as a money-waster on a very small user base (Canadian sellers), so it's been less than low priority.
Consider this: leaving things exactly as they are is actually making money for eBay, since most sellers don't go after eBay for their lost FVFs on shipping once they've refunded their buyers' excess shipping. Why would eBay want to give up that little cash cow in order to spend money solving a problem that affects a minority of their sellers?
So I'm sorry to say that if you're listing on .ca and have U.S. customers attempting to combine orders, you will find this happening again and again. If you don't have a large U.S. buyer base, or don't often sell multi-item orders, it will simply be an occasional annoyance and a small loss (in FVFs).
The biggest issue to my mind is the number of .com buyers that may have been turned away from my store, from buying from a Canadian, or from buying on eBay entirely for that matter, because of the "cart disconnect". None of us who regularly sell to the U.S. and regularly sell multi-item orders will ever know how many customers tried, failed and went elsewhere to buy. For some reason this doesn't seem to concern eBay.
I apologize for the lengthy post, but as you can see, this is a complex problem with many factors involved that a Canadian seller needs to consider. Believe me, I've spent at least the last year trying to parse out this issue and have brought it to the attention of the eBay.ca staffers on a regular basis, but nothing -- absolutely nothing -- has been done. I finally had to give up and just try to save my business the best way I could, despite the disadvantages of doing so for a Canadian seller. It was, in the end, a question of the lesser of two evils.
