Welcome to a place where Christ should be exalted and "Self" should be abased!!
Welcome to a place where the BIBLE can be discussed rationally, intelligently, and positively without unnecessary argument!!
Welcome to a place where prayer can be requested and encouraged!!
Welcome to a place where positive and encouraging thoughts from scripture can be shared in a caring and loving way!!
Welcome to a place away from all the arguments, recriminations, and negativity of the outside world!!
Welcome to a place of rest and safety!!
Welcome to a place where Philippians 2:3 is practiced: "Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves."
Welcome to this Christian thread.
(Please leave all aggression, bitterness, and philosophy outside the door and please wipe your feet before coming inside!!)
I live in my own little world. But it's OK... They know me Here!
Welcome to a place where the BIBLE can be discussed rationally, intelligently, and positively without unnecessary argument!!
Welcome to a place where prayer can be requested and encouraged!!
Welcome to a place where positive and encouraging thoughts from scripture can be shared in a caring and loving way!!
Welcome to a place away from all the arguments, recriminations, and negativity of the outside world!!
Welcome to a place of rest and safety!!
Welcome to a place where Philippians 2:3 is practiced: "Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves."
Welcome to this Christian thread.
(Please leave all aggression, bitterness, and philosophy outside the door and please wipe your feet before coming inside!!)
I live in my own little world. But it's OK... They know me Here!
(((((((((((((SHIRLEY!!)))))))))))))
What's shakin'? :)
--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old...you grow old because you stop laughing. 🙂
What's shakin'? :)
--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old...you grow old because you stop laughing. 🙂
Hi MLM.....just me shakin;-) Do you ever have one of those mornings where everything bugs you? I haven't had one for a long time, but trying to figure out what's bugging me the most, is bugging me....:^O
Shirl...yes. I know of those days. It's called PMS Week. No further explanation required. 😉 LOL!
I think you just might need a giggle, so here ya go...
Real Answering Machine Messages
========================
WE ARE BORG. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED.
But we're not home right now. So leave a message at the tone,
and we'll assimilate you later.
Hello, this is KVKE, you're on the air. (or)
Hello, you're caller number nine!
This is the Literacy Self Test Hotline. After the tone, leave
your name and number, and recite a sentence using today's
vocabulary word. Today's word is "supercilious."
Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency.
We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the
tone, please hang up.
I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel
stupid talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if
you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me
something about myself. Thanks.
Thank you for calling the CSU Automated Hearing Test Line.
Prepare for Test 1. Is this tone louder in your left ear or
right ear? ... BEEP
(Rod Serling imitation:) You're dazed, bewildered, trapped in a
world without time, where sound collides with color and shadows
explode. You see a signpost up ahead -- this is no ordinary
telephone answering device... You have reached, "The Twilight
Phone".
Thank you for calling 434-2322. If you wish to speak to Tim,
push 1 on your touch tone phone now. If you wish to speak to
Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. If you have a wrong
number, push 3 on your touch tone phone now. All of this button
pushing doesn't do anything, but it is a good way to work off
anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big time phone
system.
Lucifer speaking. Who in hell do you want?
This is a test. This is a test of the Answering Machine
Broadcast System. This is only a test.
(Recorded directly from AT&T:) We're sorry, but the number you
dialed is disconnected or no longer in service.
Hi, you've reached 340-2359. We're not peeb eht retfa egassem
ruoy evael esaelp os ,won thgir emoh. gnillac rof uoy knahT.
The number you have reached, 226-0477, has been changed.
The new number is 226-0477. Please make a note of it.
You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your
voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for
later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use
the sound of YOUR voice for literally thousands of illegal and
immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial
consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists
will contact you in the near future to further explain the
benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of
payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone.
Thank you.
(Klingon voice:) ANSWERING MACHINE. SPEAK.
You have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a
message after the beep.
Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I
die before I wake, Remember to erase the tape.
Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone
right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya
likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right...
real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing
our teeth we'll get back to you.
A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why
we're not here. So leave a message.
Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent
the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you
are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough
money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a
female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
(Narrator's voice:) There Dale sits, reading a magazine.
Suddenly the telephone rings! The bathroom explodes into a
veritable maelstrom of toilet paper, with Dale in the middle of
it, his arms windmilling at incredible speeds! Will he make it
in time? Alas no, his valiant effort is in vain. The bell hath
sounded. Thou must leave a message.
Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.
Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
I'm sorry, the number you have reached is imaginary. Please
rotate your phone 90 degrees and dial again.
--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old...you grow old because you stop laughing. 🙂
I think you just might need a giggle, so here ya go...
Real Answering Machine Messages
========================
WE ARE BORG. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED.
But we're not home right now. So leave a message at the tone,
and we'll assimilate you later.
Hello, this is KVKE, you're on the air. (or)
Hello, you're caller number nine!
This is the Literacy Self Test Hotline. After the tone, leave
your name and number, and recite a sentence using today's
vocabulary word. Today's word is "supercilious."
Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency.
We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the
tone, please hang up.
I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel
stupid talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if
you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me
something about myself. Thanks.
Thank you for calling the CSU Automated Hearing Test Line.
Prepare for Test 1. Is this tone louder in your left ear or
right ear? ... BEEP
(Rod Serling imitation:) You're dazed, bewildered, trapped in a
world without time, where sound collides with color and shadows
explode. You see a signpost up ahead -- this is no ordinary
telephone answering device... You have reached, "The Twilight
Phone".
Thank you for calling 434-2322. If you wish to speak to Tim,
push 1 on your touch tone phone now. If you wish to speak to
Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. If you have a wrong
number, push 3 on your touch tone phone now. All of this button
pushing doesn't do anything, but it is a good way to work off
anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big time phone
system.
Lucifer speaking. Who in hell do you want?
This is a test. This is a test of the Answering Machine
Broadcast System. This is only a test.
(Recorded directly from AT&T:) We're sorry, but the number you
dialed is disconnected or no longer in service.
Hi, you've reached 340-2359. We're not peeb eht retfa egassem
ruoy evael esaelp os ,won thgir emoh. gnillac rof uoy knahT.
The number you have reached, 226-0477, has been changed.
The new number is 226-0477. Please make a note of it.
You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your
voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for
later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use
the sound of YOUR voice for literally thousands of illegal and
immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial
consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists
will contact you in the near future to further explain the
benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of
payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone.
Thank you.
(Klingon voice:) ANSWERING MACHINE. SPEAK.
You have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a
message after the beep.
Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I
die before I wake, Remember to erase the tape.
Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone
right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya
likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right...
real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing
our teeth we'll get back to you.
A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why
we're not here. So leave a message.
Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent
the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you
are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough
money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a
female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
(Narrator's voice:) There Dale sits, reading a magazine.
Suddenly the telephone rings! The bathroom explodes into a
veritable maelstrom of toilet paper, with Dale in the middle of
it, his arms windmilling at incredible speeds! Will he make it
in time? Alas no, his valiant effort is in vain. The bell hath
sounded. Thou must leave a message.
Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.
Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
I'm sorry, the number you have reached is imaginary. Please
rotate your phone 90 degrees and dial again.
--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old...you grow old because you stop laughing. 🙂
God Bless you MLM.....That did it!! I've got tears in my eyes, so if this post is mis-spelled..it's your fault!
Uh oh...Now you're dangerous, Shirl. 😉
lol
:^O
--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old...you grow old because you stop laughing. 🙂
lol
:^O
--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old...you grow old because you stop laughing. 🙂
Prayer request - DW's father is being taken to hospital in very, very serious condition. We are leaving for NB in a few minutes and should be there in 5 hours. Thank you
Prayers going heavenward for you and yours, Andrew.
--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old...you grow old because you stop laughing. 🙂
--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old...you grow old because you stop laughing. 🙂
I got this from my Hindu cousin in Mumbai.
There is a section that I bolded....and when I read that part, I understood why my cousin sent it to me. (You really don't have to forward it,it's just the thought that counts).
Read only if you have time for God
God, when I received this e-mail, I thought...
I don't have time for this... And, this is really inappropriate during work.
Then, I realized that this kind of thinking is exactly, what has caused lot of the problems in our world today.
We try to keep God in church on Sunday morning...
Maybe, Sunday night...
And, the unlikely event of a midweek service.
We do like to have Him around during sickness...
And, of course, at funerals.
Howver, we don't have time, or room, for Him during work or play...
Because.. That's the part of our lives we think... We can, and should, handle on our own.
May God forgive me for ever thinking...
That... there is a time or place where..
HE is not to be FIRST in my life.
We should always have time to remember all HE has done for us.
If, You aren't ashamed to do this...
Please follow the directions.
Jesus said, "If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father."
Not ashamed?
Pass this on ONLY if You Love God.
HE is my source of existence.
He keeps me functioning each and every day. Without Him, I will be nothing. But, with Christ, HE strengthens me. (Phil 4:13)
This is the simplest test.
If You Love God... And, are not ashamed of all the marvelous things HE has done for you...
Send this to ten people and the person who sent it to you! (well..you don't really HAVE to do that....)
Now do you have the time to pass it on?
Easy vs. Hard
Why is it so hard to tell the truth but Yet so easy to tell a lie?
Why are we so sleepy in church but right when the sermon is over we suddenly wake up?
Why is it so easy to delete a Godly e-mail, but yet we forward all of the nasty ones?
Of all the free gifts we may receive, Prayer is the very best one....
There are no costs, but wonderful rewards... GOD BLESS!
Isn't it funny how you can send a thousand jokes through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing?
Isn't it funny how when you go to forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it to them.
Isn't it funny how I can be more worried about what other people think of me than what God thinks of me.
I pray, for everyone who sends this, they will be blessed by God in a way special for them.
And send it back to the person who sent it, to let them know that indeed it was sent out to many more.
There is a section that I bolded....and when I read that part, I understood why my cousin sent it to me. (You really don't have to forward it,it's just the thought that counts).
Read only if you have time for God
God, when I received this e-mail, I thought...
I don't have time for this... And, this is really inappropriate during work.
Then, I realized that this kind of thinking is exactly, what has caused lot of the problems in our world today.
We try to keep God in church on Sunday morning...
Maybe, Sunday night...
And, the unlikely event of a midweek service.
We do like to have Him around during sickness...
And, of course, at funerals.
Howver, we don't have time, or room, for Him during work or play...
Because.. That's the part of our lives we think... We can, and should, handle on our own.
May God forgive me for ever thinking...
That... there is a time or place where..
HE is not to be FIRST in my life.
We should always have time to remember all HE has done for us.
If, You aren't ashamed to do this...
Please follow the directions.
Jesus said, "If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father."
Not ashamed?
Pass this on ONLY if You Love God.
HE is my source of existence.
He keeps me functioning each and every day. Without Him, I will be nothing. But, with Christ, HE strengthens me. (Phil 4:13)
This is the simplest test.
If You Love God... And, are not ashamed of all the marvelous things HE has done for you...
Send this to ten people and the person who sent it to you! (well..you don't really HAVE to do that....)
Now do you have the time to pass it on?
Easy vs. Hard
Why is it so hard to tell the truth but Yet so easy to tell a lie?
Why are we so sleepy in church but right when the sermon is over we suddenly wake up?
Why is it so easy to delete a Godly e-mail, but yet we forward all of the nasty ones?
Of all the free gifts we may receive, Prayer is the very best one....
There are no costs, but wonderful rewards... GOD BLESS!
Isn't it funny how you can send a thousand jokes through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing?
Isn't it funny how when you go to forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it to them.
Isn't it funny how I can be more worried about what other people think of me than what God thinks of me.
I pray, for everyone who sends this, they will be blessed by God in a way special for them.
And send it back to the person who sent it, to let them know that indeed it was sent out to many more.
Very nice, Trupti. :)
--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old...you grow old because you stop laughing. 🙂
--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old...you grow old because you stop laughing. 🙂
hello all, I don't chat much on this thread, but do pop in daily, because there is so much GOOD happening in here, and I need my dose of daily goodness...
SurvivorNikki, you asked about Ralph, and I really like him, so I asked him a question, and forwarded that email on to you...
SurvivorNikki, you asked about Ralph, and I really like him, so I asked him a question, and forwarded that email on to you...
ANYWAY
People are often unreasonable,
illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you
of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful,
you will win some false friends
and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank,
people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building,
someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis,
it is between you and God;
It never was between you and them anyway.
Mother Theresa
People are often unreasonable,
illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you
of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful,
you will win some false friends
and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank,
people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building,
someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis,
it is between you and God;
It never was between you and them anyway.
Mother Theresa
