Your listings say that you accept return so that means that you accept them for any reason. You can’t deny the return although you can try to help the buyer in another way instead such as replacing product..partial refund etc.
For the last year or so ebay automatically accepts returns when you offer an accept returns policy. If the buyer chooses a buyers remorse reason as the reason for the return (changed min, wrong size etc) then yes, they should pay for return shipping as your return policy states that buyers pay. BUT if they choose a not as described reason such as damaged, got wrong item etc. then the seller is required to pay for return shipping.
Even if you have a no return policy you still have to accept not as described returns.
I’m not sure what ‘wrong’ message tyler@ebay is referring to though.