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For what my advice is worth, if this buyer hasn't yet left FB/DSRs, I would protect my seller ratings by refunding cheerfully, as this could get very messy if you're only at Day 20. Unless you're a high volume seller, it can take a long time to mitigate the effects of one really nasty bit of damage to your DSRs.
There is always the hope that your buyer is being honest and by allowing her to return the garment for a refund you'll be making a happy customer. Even if she isn't being honest, by treating her as if she is, you may at least come out with your FB and DSRs unscathed.
In these sorts of dilemmas I always try to imagine the worst outcome that is reasonably likely with either decision. As I see it, if you refund, the worst is likely that the costume has been worn and perhaps damaged, but it may be able to be drycleaned and any damage repaired so it can be resold, albeit at a lower price. That is a manageable risk of loss from your point of view, but something you can control.
On the other hand, if you refuse to refund, the damage one buyer could potentially do to your seller ratings at this point in your business is likely out of your control -- your buyer might be understanding, but it's quite possible she'll take out her frustration on your FB/DSRs.
If you turn down her request for a refund based on your 14-day limit, there is a risk eBay will not back you up even if she is clearly retaliating (and she could still probably file an INAD case which might force a refund). I've never seen a case on these boards of a challenge to eBay's policies on the basis of a seller's stated refund time, but perhaps someone else has.
In the meantime, the clock is ticking for you and I'd say every day you delay in agreeing to the buyer's request is another day she can think about being upset, etc. I hope these thoughts are of some help, and that this turns out well for you. ...
@femmefan1946 wrote:
And con season never ends. I see publicity for cons happening every weekend from now until New Year's Eve (FutureCon in Toronto a funcon sponsored by the sumptuous cosplayer Liana K and by the belligerent Ed the Sock).
Just an aside, but could you please translate the above? I'm intrigued, but have no idea what this sentence means. It all sounds very arcane and mysterious, very Masonic-like. 
"What should I do?"
In most instances, I generally favour the side of the buyer.
However, in this specific case, I suggest you answer the inquiry from the buyer as follows:
"Although my return policy specify that goods must be returned within 14 days, I will make an exception for you and will refund the full purchase price ($xx.xx) minus the original shipping cost ($xx.xx) as soon as received as long as it comes in the original condition without alteration or modification."
Now, you are taking the risk that the buyer will go through PayPal and file a claim for "goods not as described" at which point PayPal would instruct the buyer to return the goods to you with tracking and the amount of the transaction taken from your account or they would freeze the account if the refund money is not there.
The reality today is that you do not have the money to volunteer a full refund. By offering one (minus the shipping charge) there is the possibility the buyer will decide it is not worth the trouble of paying for a return to only get a partial refund.
And yes you may have to swallow a bad feedback.
Well, it sounds as if you did the right thing, and hopefully your buyer will too. I couldn't believe she'd be asking you how much the return shipping will cost -- maybe she really is just completely hapless. You've certainly bent over backwards for this person, not just in agreeing to a return and assisting her with (U.S.!) postal rates, but it seems from the very beginning of the transaction.
Let us know the outcome, and best of luck! 
Well, as most of us thought, the cost of returning it was a deterrent and seems to have outweighed the problem of getting another mannequin. My guess is that there never was a mannequin in the first place, but whatever the case, your stress level over this must be alleviated somewhat.
The truth is that she could probably re-sell it on eBay and recoup most of her cost rather than returning it anyway. But that would mean setting up a Paypal account, which seems to have been beyond this person's ability. I'm afraid to say the word 'flake' comes to mind...
I'm so glad for you this has turned out well so far, but we all know what that 60-day breath holding is about. Fingers crossed and touch wood!
